Click on a shirt to buy, or click here to check out our full store.
I only have three days to buy a shirt?
Nah, this is displayed because of the way Teespring is set up. The shirts will be around for a while and we'll let you know before any of them go away.
How can I get merch?
You can browse the selection right here!
Only $17 USD, plus shipping for a shirt or $35 for a sweatshirt.
Does it look like shit?
No way! Our talented designer Logan Turnip himself designed our shirts and they're sure to keep you looking your best.
Will this merch get me laid?
I mean...we can't say for sure, but we did get this tesitmonial in our inbox last night.
"I bought this shirt and now I'm drowning in ass" - Doctor